My Why

To love a man who loves the outdoors isn’t what you would expect it to be. It’s hard. It’s compromise. It’s sacrifice. It’s becoming a one woman mariachi band and running the show at home, while the man is shivering in a tree. It’s kicking the same disgusting, overly-worn, camo attire aside every time you enter any room of your home. It’s wondering what the hell a hobby even is anymore. It’s the jealousy and anger when things go wrong and the resentment when you need someone to blame.  It’s your child  climbing shit in the living room while you’re cooking dinner, trying to get grass stains out of jerseys, and { God Forbid} feed yourself at the same time. Basically it’s a nightmare 80% of the time. So why do I do it?

That other 20%. It’s the smile on your spouses face when he walks in the door after a good hunt. It’s the pride as he puts food on the table. It’s the dedication as he wakes up at the crack of dawn to freeze his ass off in a tree or in a blind. It’s seeing him teach our son everything he knows, and watching him follow in his footsteps. It’s the passion in his voice as he talks about his morning as you sit and pretend to care much less understand. But after three years I’ve learned this:

To them it’s not just birds. It’s not just a way to kill time. It’s not just “hunting”. It’s more. It’s something beyond my understanding. It’s something I’ll sit and listen to him talk about all night long just to hear the excitement in his voice. It’s dedication, it’s hard work, it’s rewarding. It’s the rush as they draw back because it’s now or never. It’s the chase. And until I learned this, I never truly respected the “it”. I never truly respected his love for “it”. Although I’ll never fully understand “it”, I further understand him.
It’s not an ideal way of life for everyone, in fact I’m sure a lot of women would be against it. But for me?  I see it this way: I get my alone time to curl up on the couch with wine and a movie and he gets his. I no longer am bitter to the fact that sometimes, my boyfriend would just rather be in the woods than stay home with me and our son. Him being in the woods, means they need me home to hold things together.  I wouldn’t trade this life for the world. Because for me, his love for hunting gives me my purpose. And his love for me is why I stay.

To love a man who loves the outdoors isn’t what you’d expect it to be. It’s more. It’s my why.

 

 

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